What Does it Take to be Lonesome?

Before I began this trip a little over two weeks ago I was receiving a lot of mixed reactions when someone would hear my answer to the question, “Are you traveling with anyone?” There are some who gasp at the proposition of traveling by one’s self. Then there are others who encourage the solo adventurist. The truth is, it’s pretty difficult to give a reliable opinion if you’ve never experienced it for yourself.

This is my first time ever traveling alone for an extended period and I can honestly say that each day of my journey has been full of meaningful interactions and enjoyable activities, otherwise not possible had I not been traveling on my own. Traveling with your family, a group of friends, or even just one other person, be it a significant other or good friend, has multiple benefits. Mostly it’s the comfort of knowing the person or group of people with whom you’re traveling with.  You can confide in them, you already know you can have fun with them and you know well where each of you is coming from, literally and figuratively. These benefits are huge for people that need a constant companion, as there’s no guarantee you’re going to hit it off with a fellow traveler.

With that said, it can also be said that the road is full of people who are successful, friendly, and open minded. As I said earlier, much of my interactions with these people wouldn’t have been possible had I been traveling with others. For example, although three years ago I formed lifelong connections with some really amazing study abroad classmates, it wasn’t so easy meeting fellow travelers or locals because we would be out with the same group of people each night. Being alone is an opportunity in itself because the energy you expend goes to forming new connections with people from all around the world. That is unless you believe in meaningless conversation and you’re just interested in shooting the shit with strangers, which you can do just as easily back home.

Barcelona Beach

The best form of travel by ones self I’ve found that fosters connections that are both instant and long lasting are staying in dorm hostels. It’s better to go for the eight bed compared to a two bed because you save money and have more opportunity to meet others. If you’re traveling, especially if you’re in your twenties, there will be always someone you can relate to. It gets easier the more you travel because you’re able to expand your commonalities from knowing the customs in your hometown to knowing customs of individual countries. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned just from being genuinely interested in someone else’s origins. Did you know Kazakhstan borders the largest lake in the world? That lake is the Caspian Sea. Yeah, it got me too. Did you know that Australia used to be a penal colony? It’s true that a large portion of their country are descendants of prisoners (..some Aussies can be hard to trust). What about Catalonia? This region in Spain is more than its romance language suggests. It’s an autonomous community vying for an independence that has the potential to send its governing country into an unthinkable downward spiral.

Being open to this information is the only way you’ll receive it. Same goes for friendships. By having an open mind you have the potential to accomplish whatever it is you set out to do. I really wanted to skateboard while I was in Barcelona. I went from borrowing one from a stranger at a skate spot, to inquiring where a traveling German purchased his, to being loaned a deck from an Australian friend’s Catalan roommate.  It took some luck to make it to the point where I was carving Barcelona’s infamous concrete parks and granite ledges, but I did it. All it took was being genuinely interested in another person, the fact that they may be good looking is just a plus. As long as you’re genuinely interested in something, be it a hobby, an activity, or a cause, there will always be a means to participate in it. Maybe you’re into running? Almost every major city has a group you can join. Same goes for yoga. Do you play an instrument? There are open mic night’s everywhere. Maybe you want to dedicate a month to subsistence farming? Many CSA's will take you on immediately! All you have to do is seek it out and you’ll discover the world opens up to you when you’re open to it. This is a truth that’s really hard to disregard.

Another truth I’ve always knew, but really got to experience on the road is that spontaneity is one the most important keys to happiness. Routine and predictability put a lot of humans into ruts. It did to me. A lot of us aren’t experienced, or settled enough to handle the typical 9-5. That’s ok, because were not all the same, and we don’t all grow the same way. It takes copious amounts of spontaneity in some of our lives to reach a peak happiness. I also think spontaneity is important because when things happen that we don’t have planned or that we haven’t already thought about it tends to lead to a fresh experience. When you don’t create expectations or have any assumptions the only thing left is to fully live in the moment, and that's where the magic happens. No matter if you’re an adventure seeker or homebody, the world is always trying to give you the resources to live a positive and present existence. All you have to do is want to live it too.